Last night, by far, was one of the worst nights sleep I've ever had considering I did not sleep at all. Not a wink. I'm not too sure if it was my lack of sleep that I have some how ended up with a bit of delirium, but I had noticed a change in my mood, attitude, and function throughout the night and day. Everyone (I hope that I can assume everyone) has experienced a horrible nights sleep at one point or another so I'm sure we can all relate to the list I've compiled on the seven stages of falling asleep.
1. The Wind Down
The first thing we all experience is the wind down. It's super late (like 2 AM 'cause that's late for me) and we didn't even realize it. We decide it's time to go to sleep regardless of if we are tired or not but we hope that by spending some quality time on Instagram and Twitter, we will eventually crave some shut eye.
2. The Toss And Turn
We attempt this "shut eye" stuff and hope that it will convince our bodies we are tired. After about 5 minutes of pure nothing we grow restless and begin switching to different sides of the bed and flipping over pillows which lasts another 20 minutes.
3. The Sweats
And no I'm not talking about PJ bottoms. Eventually we've rolled onto every cold part of our bed and what was once the comfy warm oasis that is our blankets, comforters, and pillows suddenly becomes a sauna from hell. We kick off all blankets, socks and sometimes clothes in hopes this will be the solution to our problems.
4. The Freeze
Turns out within 10 minutes of kicking all those blankets off you find yourself shivering. Somehow the sauna turned into Antarctica and we are back to square one with our whole blankets situation.
5. The Change of Atmosphere
At this point it's around 4 AM and there is no sign of going to sleep anytime soon. We decide that maybe turning on the TV, reading a book, even leaving our bedrooms for a while may help us fall asleep. This stage may consist of lightheadedness, yawning, hallucinations, and delirium. Somehow we manage to doze off or go through that period where we feel we are asleep but actually aren't. Once we realize that was all a sweet joke and we aren't sleeping we "wake up", either return to bed or repeat stages 2-4.
6. The Denial
It's currently 6 AM, the sun is starting to come out and the birds are chirping. We can't believe we haven't slept the entire night so, we decide to give it a go once more to try and save our sanity for the rest of the day. Throw those pillows over our heads and call it night time, 'cause it's time to finally get some sleep around here.
7. Just F*** It
This stage is more than rightfully titled. Another hour goes by and we managed to doze off for a few minutes before our internal alarm wakes us up. We are so fed up at this point; we are tired, hungry, cranky and our bladders are bursting at the seems so we just say f*** it and get up out of bed. Coffee doesn't sound half bad about now anyways.
0 comments:
Post a Comment